Ruriem: The Real Ruriruri
by FLCO EX
Summary: (Eminem gets spoofed, ha ha! OOC involve.) Ladies and gentleman, Nadesico's favorite hip-hop rapper Ruriem and her latest hit single, The Real Ruriruri. Rated PG13 for swearing. Plz R&R for your POV. Thx.


The Real Ruriruri  
Author by FLCO EX  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Legal Crap: I don't own anything that is Nadesico. EVA, Beyblade and Mircosoft make a cameo and I don't own them too. I gain nothing from this so don't sue me.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
A/N: There maybe some OOC in here, please don't flame me b-cos of it. ^_^()()  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
\Hoshino Records Studio/  
  
Dr EX: "OK, whenever you are ready Ruri."  
  
Ruri: (wearing hip-hop style clothes, clears her throat) "Ahem..............get this overwith."  
  
  
[Music Starts]  
[Aoi Jun]  
May I have your attention please?  
May I have your attention please?  
Will the real Ruriruri please stand up?  
I repeat, will the real Ruriruri please stand up?  
We're gonna have a problem here..  
  
  
[Ruri]  
Y'all act like you never seen a girl genius before  
Jaws all on the floor like Yurika, like Akito just burst in the door  
and started fallin in love worse than before  
they first were married, throwin them over Aestivalis (Ahh!)  
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,   
she didn't just say what I think she did, did she?"  
And Omoikane said... nothing you bakas!   
Omoikane's dead, he's deleted from my database! (Ha-ha!)  
Nedasico fans love Ruri {*vocal turntable:   
chigga chigga chigga*} "Ruriruri, I'm sick of her  
Look at her, walkin around her hand has the you-know-what  
to control the you-know-which," "Yeah, but she's so cute though!"  
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose  
But no worse, than what's goin on in the captains' bedrooms  
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't  
but it's cool for Ryoko to crush a dead martian  
"Yurika's bum is on your lips, Yurika's bum is on your lips"  
And if Akito's lucky, he might just give it a little kiss  
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids  
And expect them not to know what their love affair is  
Of course they gonna know what happen is  
By the time they hit fourth grade  
They got the Nadesico DVD don't they?  
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us Jovians  
who cut other crewmates open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}  
But if we can hump dead martians and aliens  
then there's no reason that a baka and another baka can't elope  
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote  
Houmei girls wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes  
  
  
*Chorus*  
[Ruri]  
I'm Ruriruri, yes I'm the real Ruri  
All you other Ruriruris are just imitating  
So won't the real Ruriruri please stand up,  
please stand up, please stand up?  
  
  
[Ruri]  
Rei Ayanami don't have to act like wondergirl to get popular;  
well I do, so fuck her and fuck you too!  
You think I give a damn about Nergal?  
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me  
"But Ruri, if you get promotion, wouldn't it be weird?"  
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?  
So you can, sit me here next to Akatsuki?  
Shit, Inez Fressange better switch me chairs  
so I can sit next to Subaru Ryoko and Amano Hikaru  
and hear 'em argue over who will win over fighting game  
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV  
"Yeah, she's cute, but I think she a has crush on Hari, hee-hee!"  
I should download her video on MPEG   
and show the whole universe how you doing on P-O-D (Prince of Darkness) {*AHHH!*}  
I'm sick of you little Hokishin-sixsomes and Jovian spiders, all you do is annoy me  
so I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}  
And there's a million of us just like me  
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me  
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me  
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!  
  
  
*Chorus*  
  
  
[Ruri]  
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you   
things you joke about with your friends inside the control bridge  
The only difference is I got the smarts to say it  
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be 'Naze Nani' at all  
I just get on neko pajamas and spit it   
and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shit it  
better than ninety percent of you genius out can  
Then you wonder how can kids use these IFS implants like beyblades  
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty  
I'll be the only person in the cybercafe Counterstriking  
Pinchin PC keyboard when I'm fragging off with Bill Gates  
And I'm hackin but this whole system of software isn't working  
And every single person is a Ruriruri lurkin  
she could be workin at Mircosoft, hackin on your secret files  
{*HACH*} Or in the Nadesico, circling  
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"   
with her transmitter down and her system up  
So, will the real Ruri please stand up?  
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?  
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control  
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?  
  
  
*Chorus 2X*  
  
  
[Ruri]  
Ha ha  
Guess there's a Ruriruri in all of us  
Fuck it, let's all stand up  
  
[Music Fades]  
  
Dr EX: Ok, that's a wrap. 


End file.
